Seems I get alot more attention looking girlish, than I get looking boyish... So what do you think I do? Accepting myself and the feminine side of me has been a very liberating experience, though soemtimes uncomfortable. Although all my acquaintances aren't aware of Tippy, you on the other hand won't be aware of ... ummm.... him. I think both are exceptional persons and have their contribution to make.

I am in a constant state of flux, change about who I am and how I feel about things. My wife is trying to understand this feminine of me, although it becomes a struggle for us both at times. I don't want to disappoint her, at the same time that I feel this need to express myself. In my thirties, I began to tell my girlfriends (GGs) that I was a transvestite with varying results. One girl was repulsed, some just ignored my story, and others, curious, asked about it and went away. I realized later that the results of these revelations were very much dependent on how I felt about me! Well, suprise, suprise! When I met my wife, I told her that I had crossdressed and that it was a part of me that probably would always be there. As our relationship developed, we both, more or less, swept my interest under the table. We lived happily in denial. Then, 5 years into marriage, and two years into counseling, I decided to let go of my hidden side and dare to go out in public. And so, Tippy Gillette was born. With varying amounts of acceptance, my wife sends me off on my evenings of fun. In a place like Los Angeles, sometimes the evening out is lots o'fun, sometimes simply an enjoyable ride in a car, sometimes just weird. I was closeted about my crossdressing for many years, and I know that that is no way to be. I need to express who I am and be happy with that. Having played football in high school and maintaining a manly appearance most of my life, I was often concerned with my physical condition and looking attractive to the opposite sex. Now I seek to lose weight, slim down my body frame and shoulders. I shave my body when I go out. Now I seek to look good for me and how I feel, and in my heart if I feel good about me, I know that I will be attractive to others. I have never desired to be a woman or become a transexual (thru SRS: sex reasignment surgery). I have fantasized about what that might be like, but have been very happy with all my parts and what I am. Now, from time to time, it sinks in that what I am is something very special and that is a good thing! The internet has been a breath of fresh air for me. I've heard this expressed by other "sisters." By meeting and learning about the other "girls" around me, I have come to learn that we are all here for our own reasons and the other girls I have met are just as vital and purposelful as myself. They are fun, risqué, sexy, goofy, smart, talented, hard working, playful, beautiful, classy and slutty. I like the slutty parts, myself. I have often dressed to show off that slutty, tarty*, cheap side of my girlish self. Probably a reaction to feeling I had to be so damn responsible all my life. And, also there is a sensual, sexual side to me that I need to express, and dressing allows me the freedom to show that part of me. Continued....

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